did you get engaged???
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
