Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
