Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
