$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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