I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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