did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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