Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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