How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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