Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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