awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Randomize
