oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
