He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize