I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
