Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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