so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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