I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
too bad you live with your parents still
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
a search helicopter?!
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
