just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
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