Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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