i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
