Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
