i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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