It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
