Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(817): View more from Texas

Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?

(1-817): View more from Texas

You weighed it?

Fav 37 23076 2040
share tweet
(720): View more from Colorado

When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy

Fav 25 6169 1182
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(815): View more from Illinois

You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark

Fav 56 6420 1055
share tweet
(401): View more from Rhode Island

I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?

Fav 2 1254 2780
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(913): View more from Kansas

It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.

Fav 7 3982 1192
share tweet
(518): View more from New York

and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis

Fav 13 3837 1464
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(719): View more from Colorado

Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.

Fav 14 1838 825
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.

Fav 11 840 1273
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(801): View more from Utah

Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.

Fav 0 83 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT