Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.

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(616): View more from Michigan

He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(914): View more from New York

After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.

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(607): View more from New York

Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.

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(719): View more from Colorado

What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?

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(989): View more from Michigan

I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan

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(708): View more from Illinois

I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.

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