you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize