im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
