I'm drive I can fine osifer
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
