They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
