Whod you bang
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
