i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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