I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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