do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
no you cant smoke seaweed
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
