I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
