i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
