Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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