I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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