I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize