so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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