I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I want her autograph on my taint
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
