If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
