Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
