brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
