i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
