I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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