I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize