8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
