I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
