I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
accomplished twins. life is a go
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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