Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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