I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
