Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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