This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
