he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
