i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
