I am spending my child support on dildos
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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