its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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