just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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