Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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