If i could tip my vagina, i would.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
