I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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