I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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