Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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