i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
