She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
